Time to Get Pregnant – There & Back Again: A Surrogate’s Tale

I’m going to carry a child for people I didn’t even know existed 10 days ago. Cool. Wrapping my head around the fact that I’ve never actually met them and have only video chatted twice wasn’t hard at all actually. When you click with people, you just click. 

You agreed to carry for them, now what? I mean, there’s a lot you don’t know about these people! In my experience, it’s exactly the same as dating, except with better results, as I’m still single and have not had that great of an experience in the real dating world. Dating IPs though, this I’m good at! You all want the same outcome: a child for them. It’s easy, no one has a hidden agenda. 

So how do you build your relationship from there? That is up to you, your IPs, and whatever you are all comfortable with. We mostly sent daily text messages and video chatted about once a month. If we lived closer, we would have definitely hung out often, but reality is, you won’t always be lucky to have IPs that are close to you geographically. You just have to make the most of it. When we could, we would video chat all together, them, myself, my kids, and an occasional dog jumping in on the call. 

The first time I met them face to face was the weekend of our transfer. They were actually planning on coming to my town for a weekend before the transfer to spend time together. But my body decided to ovulate a week early, so that definitely changed the plans! Everything worked out great, I stayed at their place, we spent a few days together, and Angela also came down for an evening of games, which was super fun! 

To say that the morning of the transfer was crazy is an understatement! I was super excited, after all, I’ve been wanting this for a whole 2 months! Naïve little me, that was completely new to the infertility world, didn’t even think how stressful and nerve wracking it would be for my IPs. After being in the infertility world for 7 years, they definitely had a good poker face!

That morning, I had to start the wonderful PIO injections. How do you stick a needle in your butt yourself? Really though, how? I’m not a nurse, I’ve never injected anyone, even less myself! Thankfully, I had the best teacher to show me how. My Intended Mother is a nurse and gives the best needles and knows how to teach pretty well too! Put the phone on record and go! When they say the needle goes in like butter, believe them, because it totally does. Alright, the first needle is done, that was easy. It’s the going home and doing it myself part that is tricky. What if I screw this up? What if it’s not at the right place? What if I accidentally inject an air bubble and I have a stroke? Does that even happen? Is that possible? Oh man, was I thankful to have taken a video of my IM doing it and explaining it as she does it. After watching the video about a dozen times, I went for it. The first needle that I did myself was terrifying! Thankfully, it still went in like butter and man did I ever feel empowered after that! I did it! I’m invincible! After that day, my 7-year-old daughter joined in with the needles as well. I didn’t let her stab the needle in, because no thank you, but she definitely loved to push the liquid in and found it fascinating to be a part of it all.

I do have few things to note about the injections. First, make sure it is nice and warm, put the syringe full of oil under your arm pit while getting ready. If its warm, the oil will go in easily and won’t leave you full of lumps. After the injection, make sure to give yourself a nice massage to make the oil spread everywhere, or else they’ll call you lumpy. I always took a shower afterwards; the heat while rubbing the area did wonders. Other than the PIO injections, I took a daily aspirin and prenatal vitamin, as well as a steroid and antibiotic maybe a few weeks before the transfer. 

The transfer was something new to me. I’ve had tons of pap smears throughout my life so I’m definitely comfortable with my heels in the stirrups. A straw going in your cervix though, that was a little odd and uncomfortable but still nothing to cry about. It was weird to hear my IM confirm her date of birth to ensure they were transferring the correct embryo. Then, with the straw in place, the procedure was guided with an ultrasound to ensure it was put in the right place. It was surreal to watch! This is something you don’t think about when you get pregnant un-assisted. Watching the possible conception actually happen, wow, it was truly amazing! It took a whole 10 minutes and on we go with our day! After the transfer, we ate the traditional French fries from McDonalds for lunch, then sticky foods for supper, because we are cheesy and wanted everything to stick. 

Walking around knowing that you might be pregnant with someone else baby at any moment was an odd feeling. I was definitely excited, but I already wanted to take a pregnancy test the minute we got out of the clinic. The 2-week wait to see if I’m actually carrying their baby or if we have to try again was hard. Do we test or do we wait? We decided to start testing 6 days post transfer. For the record, I am not a patient person, I started testing 2DPT. I don’t recommend doing it this early because it is rare to see a positive pregnancy test that early. And when you just see 1 line, you can get discouraged pretty quick. I learned that the hard way!

I feel like meeting someone for the first time and then jumping on the transfer table to carry their baby shortly after should have been awkward and weird. It wasn’t even close to being that it felt normal, it felt right. So overall, if you are thinking about carrying a stranger’s baby but aren’t sure, do it! It was one of the best things I’ve ever done! The entire matching phase was stressful but getting to know the couple I chose was a good experience and I loved every moment of it, even if most of it was done virtually. There is nothing more rewarding then knowing I can help create or add to a family! Just make sure to go through an agency though, but that’s a whole other topic! 

Leave a Comment